As I say hello to 2020, I recall the many ways in which 2019 became my favorite year on earth. We welcomed Adelaide Page to the world. We made additional improvements to our home. I started a new job. I was fortunate enough to make many new friends in the motherhood community. And I got back into reading! Towards the end of the year, I feel we began to find our stride as a family of three. My family has become my safe space, my sacred refuge from a world that at times can be intimidating or overwhelming. But as comfortable as we’ve grown, 2020 is primed for change. And I am ready for it.

What I appreciate most about change is the opportunity it holds—to grow, to rediscover, to create. When I became “Mom” this last year, my identity radically shifted, from inward-focused to outward-facing, from “me/I” to “us/we.” Some days were trying. Some days were just about meeting basic needs, keeping everyone feeling loved/safe, clean, fed, and healthy. But between those days, there were ones of pure magic. Addie’s first gummy smiles. Mornings where we awoke to our yard covered in perfect powdered-sugar snow. Fall’s rapture of warm color. Days and evenings spent at the aquarium, the farmers market, the Chicago Theatre, and our favorite local diner. Becoming “mama” and “dada” and receiving those first, mouth-wide-open baby kisses.

In exchange for this energizing magic, motherhood asked me to sacrifice some individuality. It also caused me to re-examine my feelings about my body, my time, and my priorities. Slowly, I feel like I’ve started to figure out what it all means to me. And in 2020, I look forward to leaning into this version of myself. Because I never expected her, and yet I love her. And as I continually create her through my choices, words, and actions, more and more I appreciate her.

So my intentions for 2020 are simple: Embrace gratitude. Speak love daily. Spend less money and spend more time. Appreciate the mundane, because it is here I can rest. And when the magic comes, enjoy it wholeheartedly.