And I am trying to be okay with that.

I yearn (YEARN!) for structured, unbroken stretches where I can be creative. Where I can write without setting timers and watching the clock, 15 minutes to begin dinner, 10 minutes to school pick up, 5 minutes to the next “Mom, I need.” 

Can you create in 10 minutes? Can your studio be from your phone, on the floor, surrounded by discarded applesauce pouches, Squishmallows, a pair of pink shorts turned inside-out? Yes, and—you can still miss the structure of the traditional writing desk, a good-old-fashioned “let me close the door and think” time. And yet as Parent-Creatives, we often don’t have a choice.

Like everything else in mothering/parenting, we are told, “Be grateful.” Be grateful for the few minutes I have to create today. (Maybe it’s more than I had yesterday, maybe more than I’ve had in weeks.) “Make your art anywhere you can”—in the car, on the playground, with your child(ren) beside you. I can love and appreciate the autonomy that this message has given me to create when conditions aren’t “perfect,” and still miss having the choice to create conditions in which it is most conducive for me to make my art.

One day they’ll be all grown up and you’ll have all the time in the world. The countertops will be clear, the coffee will be hot, the kids will be a phone call away, and I’ll sit down to write and I’ll yearn for them. I know this to be true. And yet, today…

I (still) just want to write.